I grew up with Toni Chestnut. Why was she called Toni "Chestnut"? Who knows? My outrageous grandfather gave her that moniker long ago. It stuck. My whole family calls her Toni Chestnut to this day.
Toni is my best friend from childhood. All of my best memories as a child have her in them. Our families were close friends, so we would have family get-togethers; impromptu barbecues, birthdays, Christmas parties, etc.. Sometimes these family parties would end with Toni and me begging our parents for a sleepover. Toni and I had lots of sleepovers as our parents were usually delighted to give in to our requests. Before bed, we were allowed to watch shows like "The Muppets" or "The Facts of Life". In the morning, I was treated to the most exquisite array of cereals anyone ever had. I say exquisite because as a kid, my mom would stock our shelves with All-Bran or Total. If she was feeling kicky, we might have scored some Raisin Bran. At Toni's house, Cap'n Crunch and Cookie Crisp abound! I felt like the character Oliver from the musical, Oliver! - "please may I have another bowl?".
We were also the youngest members of our families; the little sisters. My older brother used to hang out with her older brothers and we were the quintessential pains in the necks. We'd spy on them and tell on them when they were shooting bottle rockets off in the parking lot behind their backyard. They thought the blanket of evergreens shaded them. Ha! Trees were no match for our investigative skills. In retribution, they would try to trip and tackle us as we ran through the sprinklers in the backyard.
I think my favorite times with Toni were our covert missions. Not only would we spy on our brothers, we would sneak into her living room and grab a particular book down from the bookshelf. This book was entitled, "Where Did I Come From?". It's a book about how teach your kids about sex. Toni and I thought this was the funniest book ever. We would howl in laughter looking at the two hairy cartoon characters doing the deed under a 70's patchwork quilt. That image still makes me laugh to this day. In fact, I recently bought this book to explain the facts of life to our kids. I still have not mustered the courage to read it to them. I will have to stifle my gaffaws, and I'm sure they will too!
Our friendship drifted a bit through the years because we went to different schools. However, we still remained in touch. In seventh grade, I asked her to come with me to a junior high dance. We applied our blue eye shadow amidst clouds of Aqua-Net hairspray (it was the 80's), while strains of "Sowing the Seeds of Love" by Tears for Fears played in the background on MTV. We had fun at the dance, but our time was cut short because I dislocated my knee at the dance. Yes. If the teenage years were not awkward enough, I had to injure myself at a dance! The horror! Toni took it all in stride and took care of me. She practically carried my hobbled body to her dad's car and he drove us home. She's always been someone you could count on in a crisis.
Although we went to different high schools, I attended her school's musicals. Toni was always the star; playing Marian the Librarian from The Music Man and Maria Von Trapp with a voice every bit as sweet as Julie Andrews' famous pipes.
We drifted apart through college; both doing our own thing. She met her husband in college and I was invited to their wedding. An epic snowstorm kept me away from their happy day, but I saw pictures.
We had a Christmas card kind of relationship for the next few years until cancer. That's right. I said cancer. Toni has breast cancer and has kept up a valiant fight for years now. Recently, the disease has journeyed to her lungs. I have been able to reconnect with her because Toni has kept a blog that has reflected on her odyssey through cancer. Most of her posts are filled with life, spirit and optimism. She is one tough cookie.
Last year, she went to Disney World with her family and had a joyous time. The trip even culminated with extended family hosting a family reunion all tied in. She looked jubilant in her scarf as she hugged Mickey Mouse and posed for pictures with her whole family. I sent her a little gift before her trip and one of the essays I wrote to give her some inspiration In true Toni fashion, she gave ME inspiration. She called me her lifelong friend and I cried. She is so special to me.
Her posts have changed tone in the past few weeks. Her posts began as hope, fight and showcased sheer tenacity. Now, they have turned into shades of bewilderment and pain. Her sunny personality still shines through, but you can see the difference.
I want to ask why does this have to happen, but that question is searingly painful to excavate with no answer to be had in the end.
Even though I have observed her fight from the cheap seats since we live hundreds of miles apart, Toni Chestnut has given me so much and I wanted to give her something in return. So, in a very small way, I wanted her to know how much she means to me. In the immortal words of Jim Croce, "I'll have to say I love you in a song". Or, in this case, in a blog.
