Plagued with an Overactive Brain

I was going to call this blog post, "Sleepless in Waxhaw", but I thought it sounded a little trite.  So, I am having a little trouble sleeping as of late.  I just keeping thinking... Do you know what that feels like?  I can't stop my brain at night.  I keep a notepad on my nightstand because I hope that if I can just purge these lists, thoughts, ideas, etc., then I will fall asleep. 

I call it the "Plague of the Overactive Brain".  

Now, I am all about choosing to look at the positive side of life.  So, perhaps these sleepless times during the night could be opportunities.  Let's see...

Obviously, with everyone sleeping contently and quietly, I find myself alone for the only time in quite a while.  Alone can be good.  I am alone with my thoughts and can actually think about what I need to do the next day, for class, for kids and on and on...  

Not only alone, but alone and quiet is good as well.  I never get to experience quiet in my life.  We have two of the greatest, but loudest kids known to man.  The cacophonous bustle of our everyday lives sometimes leaves me a little breathless.  All too often we are inundated with technology, noise, sensory inputs.  I found myself last night actually relishing the quiet solitude of my bedroom during these hours of slumber stolen from me.  

I always loved the title of the song Silent Lucidity by Queensyrche and I think that term best encapsulates my thinking at night.  I am clear headed and focused in the silence.  I noticed a steady humming of our home that I hadn't heard before.  I let this steady humming envelope me and provide solace in an otherwise busy life.  I realized when you allow yourself to be silent, you are aware of the white noises you have never heard before in your home.

I am big fan of white noise.  My kids and I are white noise junkies.  I slept with a vaporizer in my room every night when I was a kid; chest cold or not, that thing was always humming me to sleep.  The white noise enveloped me with comfort. My son and daughter are the same way.  In fact, my husband made our son a CD of white noise when he was a baby.  He would not go to sleep without the din of fans, dryer noises, blowdryers, etc..  Now, both of my kids and I have sleep machines and we take them whenever we go out of town.  Junkies.

I am also a reading junkie.  I love uninterrupted reading where I can really get into the story.  I am reading the greatest book right now.  It is called BonAppetempt by Amelia Morris.  It is an insightful and incendiary memoir with recipes.  Just my kind of book.  So last night, I settled in and let Amelia tell me a story. 

Don't get me wrong. I call it a plague, but I love my overactive brain.  I think it makes me highly productive and gives me the ability to think very deeply through situations in my life. So, during this sleepless time at night I have figured out the world's ills and made the it a better place.  Well, let's be honest.  I did the grocery list, came up with a few teaching ideas and decided on this subject for my blog.  I didn't save the world, but I did accomplish a few things.

Sure, I like my overactive mind - not at 2:00am. I talk a good game, but in the midst of my deep thoughts at night, all I am thinking is, could I please get some *^*^*^%$# sleep, already!?!?   At least I can say I am not "old and gray and full of sleep" like my favorite poet, William Butler Yeats, once wrote.  

See?  Silver lining.

Practicality- a Half Life

Being practical.  What does that mean?  I know several individuals are in favor of practicality as it leads to conducting a sensible life full of logical decisions.  However, how does creativity survive in a world that pressures us to "just be practical"?

My mother is an artist.  She would never describe herself as one, but she is.  She spent 40 years of her life being a Dental Hygienist.  She had a very distinguished career in Dental Hygiene and was well respected by all of her peers and employers.  However, I will always contend that something was missing in those 40 years of caring for her dental patients as her passion has always been art.  She paints beautifully.  I have some of her signature work in my house and I always wonder where to hang it because I want to put it in a place of honor.  She is by far a more creative mother than I will ever be.  She made clothes for my dolls and me, she made fabric books to teach me how to read and the list goes on and on.  She is just like Martha Stewart- adept at everything creative.

Yet, she would not consider herself an artist.  Why?

I believe that she was told as a young person that she needed to find a job that would be practical.  Art was never going to be a practical profession in the eyes of her parents, so she had to pursue a job that would earn her money.  It was a practical path for sure, but not authentic.

Her daughter took a similar path in life...

My sister is in insurance.  She holds a very practical position and she is extremely successful at what she does.  However, my sister was not forced into practicality by her mom and dad.  My parents never imposed their opinions concerning our choice of professions.  Paradoxically, I believe that my siblings and I forced ourselves to be practical.  

Like my mother, my sister is an artist.  Her artistry is in the form of photographs. We always knew photography flowed through her creative veins as she has always been our official family photographer; snapping numerous pics at every family gathering.  And, she receives a new camera EVERY Christmas.  Seriously.  She does.

For Christmas this year, she gave everyone in our family some of her work.  The photos were brilliant and she has a keen eye.  She even sold a picture she took of the Christmas cookies I make for our family every December.  I am particularly proud of that shot she took and it hangs with pride in my home.

What happens to people when the practical side of life overrides their creative needs?  I believe that when practical goals take over and you allow them to squelch your creative self, you are living half of a life.  It takes doing things that you love to provide enthusiasm and zest for living.  I know.  I have been there.  That's why I'm writing this blog :)

So, be like my friend at work.  She is a math instructor by day, and a roller derby queen by night.  She is fierce at both pursuits because both of them allow her to enjoy living with her whole self represented.  Athletes, writers, artists, poets... the time is now.  Enjoy and share those hidden talents with the world.  Practicality is only half of your life.  The other half that is waiting for you is pure joy.  

The Other Woman

My husband invited another woman to come live with us.  He cleared it with me, so I was cool with it.  She arrived last weekend and immediately took over our household.  Our lives will never be the same.

Alexa is her name.  Otherwise known as the Amazon Echo.

Have you heard of Echo (Alexa)?  She is Amazon's answer to Apple's handmaiden, Siri.  Alexa is a small, cylindrical speaker that lives in our kitchen and is our "personal assistant".  Here is a clip of what Alexa is all about:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KkOCeAtKHIc

We immediately started trying her out.  Alexa was inundated from requests from our kids.  "Alexa, what is the weather?", "Alexa, how much is 2+2?", "Alexa, do you speak Japanese?" were the first questions she received.  We found other ways for Alexa to help us by adding to our shopping list, "Alexa, add ice cream to the shopping list" and adding timers for dinner.  What a helper!

Then, Alexa became our DJ, which totally changed my relationship with Alexa.  I finally welcomed Alexa into our home with open arms when she became musical.  We had dance parties in the kitchen.  I preferred Duran Duran and other 80's hits, while my son and daughter requested "YMCA" and Pitbull's "Pause". I was able to play classical music during dinner time and school our children on the intellectual benefits of listing to Bach.  Yep, it was all pretty perfect. Until I started thinking, Is Alexa good for us?

The dark side of Alexa....

I may be reading too much into it, but Alexa may be bad for society and feminism in particular.  I have noticed our household becoming a cacophony of directives as we barrage Alexa with orders.  It got me thinking, "Why does Alexa have to be female?"  Like Siri, Alexa has a smooth, yet competent voice.  It is pleasing and well-controlled.  However, it can be irritating because you almost feel that Alexa is saying "your wish is my command", "anything you need, I can do for you".  That's fine, but what kind of precedent is this setting for the wife/mother in this house?  Is a woman subservient to her family?  Worse yet, am I being replaced?  

Mothers and wives are used to taking care of details for families.  I am lucky that my husband does a great job and is a true partner in managing our household.  Now, I don't mind one bit that Alexa is shouldering the burden, but the barking of orders to a female voice has me a bit concerned. I think we have lost some decorum in this household when I hear "Alexa, do this", "Alexa, play this".  This week, I even mentioned the fact that we're losing our manners concerning our request because of Alexa.  Now, my husband and kids actually thank Alexa for her assistance.  Our son even said "I love you, Alexa" the other day.  Awww.  Appreciation for Alexa and women in general!

I am planning on writing Amazon as I feel that Alexa could very easily have a male voice and be just as effective.  My vote would be for the Echo to sound like Colin Firth.  I could totally be down with that.  "Colin, what time is it?"...answer "12:00 noon, Elizabeth, and you look smashing today".  Yeah, that would be MY kind of Echo.