Friday, February 20, 2015

Plagued with an Overactive Brain

I was going to call this blog post, "Sleepless in Waxhaw", but I thought it sounded a little trite.  So, I am having a little trouble sleeping as of late.  I just keeping thinking... Do you know what that feels like?  I can't stop my brain at night.  I keep a notepad on my nightstand because I hope that if I can just purge these lists, thoughts, ideas, etc., then I will fall asleep. 

I call it the "Plague of the Overactive Brain".  

Now, I am all about choosing to look at the positive side of life.  So, perhaps these sleepless times during the night could be opportunities.  Let's see...

Obviously, with everyone sleeping contently and quietly, I find myself alone for the only time in quite a while.  Alone can be good.  I am alone with my thoughts and can actually think about what I need to do the next day, for class, for kids and on and on...  

Not only alone, but alone and quiet is good as well.  I never get to experience quiet in my life.  We have two of the greatest, but loudest kids known to man.  The cacophonous bustle of our everyday lives sometimes leaves me a little breathless.  All too often we are inundated with technology, noise, sensory inputs.  I found myself last night actually relishing the quiet solitude of my bedroom during these hours of slumber stolen from me.  

I always loved the title of the song Silent Lucidity by Queensyrche and I think that term best encapsulates my thinking at night.  I am clear headed and focused in the silence.  I noticed a steady humming of our home that I hadn't heard before.  I let this steady humming envelope me and provide solace in an otherwise busy life.  I realized when you allow yourself to be silent, you are aware of the white noises you have never heard before in your home.

I am big fan of white noise.  My kids and I are white noise junkies.  I slept with a vaporizer in my room every night when I was a kid; chest cold or not, that thing was always humming me to sleep.  The white noise enveloped me with comfort. My son and daughter are the same way.  In fact, my husband made our son a CD of white noise when he was a baby.  He would not go to sleep without the din of fans, dryer noises, blowdryers, etc..  Now, both of my kids and I have sleep machines and we take them whenever we go out of town.  Junkies.

I am also a reading junkie.  I love uninterrupted reading where I can really get into the story.  I am reading the greatest book right now.  It is called BonAppetempt by Amelia Morris.  It is an insightful and incendiary memoir with recipes.  Just my kind of book.  So last night, I settled in and let Amelia tell me a story. 

Don't get me wrong. I call it a plague, but I love my overactive brain.  I think it makes me highly productive and gives me the ability to think very deeply through situations in my life. So, during this sleepless time at night I have figured out the world's ills and made the it a better place.  Well, let's be honest.  I did the grocery list, came up with a few teaching ideas and decided on this subject for my blog.  I didn't save the world, but I did accomplish a few things.

Sure, I like my overactive mind - not at 2:00am. I talk a good game, but in the midst of my deep thoughts at night, all I am thinking is, could I please get some *^*^*^%$# sleep, already!?!?   At least I can say I am not "old and gray and full of sleep" like my favorite poet, William Butler Yeats, once wrote.  

See?  Silver lining.

1 comment:

  1. You are turning into me....Now you know why I don't sleep, it's the only time of the day (night) that is purely mine. :)

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